


Tavros Falls

by clowncumjar



Series: Homestuck: Into the Cummyverse [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Mukbang, Stinky - Freeform, dave - Freeform, mcdonalds, mituna gets fucking kidnapped, pleasedonttakethisseriously, poop, poopie, poor tavros, vriskas back, vristav - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:02:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21701902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clowncumjar/pseuds/clowncumjar
Summary: Tavros watches as Vriska gets herself in a tizzy at work. Again.
Relationships: Tavros Nitram/Vriska Serket
Series: Homestuck: Into the Cummyverse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565008
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Tavros Falls

It’s 3:00 and you know what that means! Vriska starts streaming! You’re so excited you could shit yourself! But you, Tavros Nitram, are a humble man and find your way to the toilet to watch that magnificent Vriska. You manage to hoist yourself on the bowl, little cripple stubs dangling over. It’s showtime baby. You click on the video and she’s at work! Wow! This is new! That woman is god on earth jesus fucking christ she pushes the shit right out of you. She begins to speak. “Hey hoes it’s NicVris88 and we’re doing McDonalds mukbang” Oh! Wonderful! That seems fun. While she gets started, your shit begins to creep it’s way to the water. Huh. This one’s taking a while to come out! Oh well. There’s a lot of food for her to eat, and you're in no rush to get off your golden throne. You’re beginning to get anxious about your poop, it just keeps going! No. Focus on Vriska, nothing to worry about! As you watch her neck rolls jiggle with every bite, you catch a glance at the drive-thru worker. He seems to be wearing a weird helmet and he’s making crazy gestures at the customer. Suddenly, he’s pulled through window by the customer, and you can slightly hear the trunk of the car slamming and speeding away over Vriska’s wet chewing. Th-that kinda freaked you out. It certainly didn’t help your already building anxiety. The 100% gay worker Vriska has mentioned before takes the headset that fell on the ground, and began to take the next customer’s order like nothing even happened. Man what the fuck is up with that McDonald’s. Vriska makes her way to the McNuggets, popping them in her mouth like Skittles. Your shit just keeps going. It’s been 30 minutes and your poop still isn’t out your asshole. It’s thick as hell, and your asshole burns. Vriska lets out the juiciest burp you’ve ever heard, and it surprises you enough to fall into the toilet bowl. Fuck. This is not good. You can’t get yourself out because you need two arms, and one is currently occupied, watching sweet Vriska. Succulent brown covers your ass, and water sloshes out the bowl as you struggle. You muster up enough strength to comment “uH,,, vRISKA CUTIE,,, iM STUCK,,,”  
Vriska glances at the comments mid-bite of her Filet-O-Fish and asks “Where?”  
Tavros blushes wildly. This is one of the first times she’s addressed you directly! You have complete trust that she will find some way to help you.  
“oH, uH,,, iM IN THE TOILET,,,,”  
“You’re stuck in the fucking toilet with your own shit?”  
How did she know? “uH,, yEAH”  
“Oh my god Tavros you’re a stinky poo poo boy! Stinky poo poo boy is Tavros!” She begins to laugh, and practically choked on her food.  
Oh my god. Is your pride completely ruined after being called a stinky poo poo boy? Yes. But she referred to you by name! You pretty much have a boner now.  
As she continues to laugh at her clever joke throughout bites, a piece of sandwich gets lodged in her throat. She begins to sputter and gasp for breath as she yells “FUCK MITUNA IM CHOKING I NEED THE HIMLICHE NOW”  
Nothing happens, Mituna got fucking kidnapped but Vriska was a fucking slob and ate 20 pounds of food. Whore.  
Dave is there of course but he does nothing to help. He doesn’t touch women. Men only hunny.  
Vriska dies shortly after on the McDonald’s counter.  
Tavros sighed. This happened last week. Vriska farted herself to death and you had to take it upon yourself to find that Aradia so he could bring her back to life. She’s YOURS. She is going to LOVE YOU.  
Anyways Tavros was in the toilet for 18 hours until paramedics in biohazard suits got him out with a crowbar because the shit made him stick to the toilet.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact all of these fics are connected. Take notes ladies.


End file.
